11 August 2017

Is This the Funniest Thing That the Alt-Right Have Ever Come out With?

"We simply must be cool."

Hey, so there’s a big upcoming rally – the ‘Unite the Right’ rally – over in the US this weekend. This is big news for the alt-right. Why? Because so far they have mainly existed through the medium of a potent mix of Pepe memes and aggressive posts on 4chan. So, nobody knows what the alt-right look like IRL?

Who knows, and this is something that they have obviously given some consideration to themselves. We know this because Andrew Anglin, the leader of hate site Daily Stormer, published an astonishing blog this week telling his followers exactly how to dress on the big day.

Here’s the best quotes from the blog…

“The worst look ever is a baggy T-shirt. Wear fitted T-shirts, where the sleeve goes to the middle of your bicep. It should not hang lower than base of your member.

“Jean [sic] should also be fitted. Not tight, just fitted. In the photo those are actually shorts – I would not wear pants that loose-fitting. And that’s another thing: don’t ever wear shorts. Serious men in serious situations are not wearing shorts.

“Americans have an obsession with this baggy stuff, and it always looks bad. No matter what, it looks bad. Even if everyone else is doing it.”

Anglin is clear that he wants to attract “normal” people to the racist rally. But, if “abnormal” people turn up, he has some guidelines he’d like everyone to stick to.

“Fat people should be allowed to join groups and be involved in rallies, but we need to create a culture where we don’t necessarily shame people, but do look at them and expect them to get it together. We should help people get it together. I’m working on my biggest diet guide ever, which I think will help the overweight and skinny alike, even if they’ve minimal time for exercise.

“Continued obesity should not be tolerated.

“Surely, a lot of our target demographic is going to be out of shape, which is why we need a culture of fitness. People should go to the gym together. Help each other with diet.

“Do not look scraggly. I won’t tell you how to cut your hair, but I do believe men’s hair looks better short, and beards look better well-trimmed.”

All the advice that Anglin offers is aimed towards men because he believes his audience is totally male. “We need to keep women on the sidelines. Not speaking, not leading, and with no official membership in anything,” he says. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to miss out on the prospect of attracting “groupies”. Here’s his advice on that front…

“Look good.

“It is very important to look good.

“That is what will make guys want to join us, that is what will make girls want to be our groupies. That will make us look like bad boys and heroes. That is what we are going for here.

“I cannot stress the point hard enough – I’m hitting italics again – we need to be extremely conscious of what we look like, and how we present ourselves. That matters more than our ideas. If that is sad to you, I’m sorry, but that is just human nature. If people see a bunch of mismatched overweight slobs, they are not going to care what they are saying.”

He concludes: “We simply must be cool.”

Wow, there are no words. We’ve read a lot from far-right groups in our time, but this takes the biscuit.


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